By Mark Ashley on November 20th, 2007
So It Begins, Police Seek Nintendo Console Thefts
1 year ago, people were robbed at gunpoint for their Playstation 3 consoles, this year and after the Nintendo’s Wii widespread success the tide has changed, this year burglars are targeting the Nintendo’s consoles instead. Cincinnati’s WLWT (NBC) Tv station reports that man took 11 game systems from Wal-Mart.
“Fort Wright police are looking for a pair of thieves who may have hit several stores to get video game systems.”
“Investigators said the man in the photos made a hole in the back of the electronics display cabinet and removed 11 Nintendo DS Lite game machines from the cabinet, concealed them, and then left the store without paying for them.”
“Woman acted as lookout”
11 DS lites under your coat? That’s not suspicious at all!
I believe it’s time for a thrilling segment of our news program we like to call, "REALLY!?"
REALLY!? with GoldenSunYuGiOh:
Hey, thief-guy, next time you intend to "get" a DS, actually get a job first, then buy the DS. Really. I mean, they’re way cheaper than an iPod. Really. Hey, wait, now that I think about it, you couldn’t have just stolen iPods? Really? Then you could have sold those so you could then you would have enough money to buy yourself a DS.
And why the heck would you steal eleven? I mean, really. If those were all for yourself, then you’re really pathetic. Really. Now, if they were actually for eleven people, wouldn’t it just be smarter for the eleven of you to pool all your money together to buy the DS Lites? I mean, really, come on, at least one of those eleven people should actually have a job, let alone money to buy a DS!
Unless, that is, you hang out with bankrupt bums like yourself. In that case, you, my friend, are really one of the most pathetic people on Earth. Really!
Oh yeah, and, just in case you didn’t know, it’s really the Nintendo Wii that’s in short supply, not the DS. I mean, have you not noticed that there are more DS Lites on store shelves than the Wii? Really? Because, really, no one storms a Wal-Mart for the last DS!
Then, in the process, you get some girl to be a lookout for you while you steal DS Lites. Really. You don’t think that the security cameras notice some girl standing around, and standing around suspiciously might I add, while a theft is going on in one of the most visited aisles in a retail store? Really? And, really, did you expect a policeman to show up at the entrance at any time? Really? You didn’t think that maybe that’s what 24-hour security guards are paid to do, to stop you from going through the exit with eleven unpaid DS Lites? I mean, come on, really!
Then, just when you can’t get any dumber, you make an attempt to hide them all. Really! Because, really, I’m sure no one is going to notice the jagged edges of 7.5"x5" DS Lite boxes protruding from your jacket! Really! I mean, when you really think about it, you really were better off stealing iPods! Really! And, all this time, it never occurred to you that scanners and alarms existed at the exits to stop you from stealing unpaid merchandise? Really? That’s like walking into a Best Buy with a concealed supermagnet and expecting no one to notice. I mean, really!
So, next time, Mr. Grand Theft Nintendo, if there ever is a next time for you and if you’re not already doing time in the local prison, get a job, and then actually buy the DS! Really!
This has been "REALLY!? with GoldenSunYuGiOh."
Um, the article says Wiis are being targeted, but the news report says 11 [b]DS LITES[/b]!
11 wiis and 11 nintendo DS lites… Hmmmm…..
*hands up flame sheild*
you could have george bush as presedent…
you could have britney spears be famous…
but I’m sure the police ‘ll press the charges on him
I wonder if he can give me one…
What I need something to sell on ze Ebay