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Πίστις, ἐλπίς, ἀγάπη

With peace reining in my soul,

And with my mind now far away,

I look back on times now past,

And see them clearly as if day.

As it all starts; once upon a time,

I've journeyed far, long and wide,

Searching for what I knew not of,

I found a world; one massive tide.

A world of discovery is what it was,

A solid castle; a beckoning station,

Its halls seen by many and then some,

Its doors unlocked with imagination.

From peasants flying by on wings,

To nobles working in the field,

There was a place for one and all,

All could be one and not concealed.

Within the courts orchestras played,

They sung ballads of fate and glory,

Around them the habitants would sit,

And listen while they saw a story.

Within the castle there were rooms,

The décors radiating a preferred sight,

From red of blood to red of love,

All of it bathed in creativity's light.

One did not have to work to live,

To do what they chose all were free,

Many resorted to passively observe,

The lives of others in all their glee.

Yet others joined up clans of choice,

And with their banners sailing high,

They went to plan and to organize,

More for others, while they stood by.

I have been there and saw it all,

Nobles to peasants; love to blood,

Many centuries and some of days,

Swept me by in one swift flood.

But all eventually must end,

The circle of life does not cease,

Old must make way for the young,

As they now go on in peace.

The castle stands as it always has,

Its roads still used to go some way,

Many reasons; though finally it's I,

One who sailed for another bay.

Some time has passed, I travel on,

Shades of memories linger and miss,

I look back fondly and recall,

Old days of fun - unending bliss.

From time to time emotions stir,

And I long for where they live,

It's all still there; but I can't return,

Yet to be back, what I would give…

Τὰ πάντα ῥεῖ καὶ οὐδὲν μένει
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Hey there,

Nweb here. Back on Nsider, I used to be a heavy participant of the fan-fic board at some point but eventually slowed down a bit towards Nsider’s end. When it close I pretty much left the scene entirely and this is my first original piece since then.

I started working on this about 7 months ago and begun by writing out the draft of the last few stanzas with the last quote, “what I would give” already clear in my head. I put the project to rest as I drifted to and fro between deciding to complete it or not and came back to it just yesterday to finish it. You can thank NS2 for crashing once again yesterday evening else I probably would not have finished this today or in the near future .

When I started this I was in a different mind state than I am now. And when I decided to finish the poem I tried to keep the tone as it would have probably been like had I finished it long ago. I think it turned out decent enough. With that said, while I still relate to it a good bit it doesn’t mean that I am crying crocodile tears at this time tee-hee.

The poem is basically a personificationized (wow, is that even a word? ) tale of Nsider's fanfic board with some emphasis of how I perceived it up to, during, and after I was a regular participant of it. But you probably picked this up on your own (at least I hope you did else that means this should have been in production longer ).

I could have probably worked on this more and polished it/made it longer but two things prevented me from doing such:

1. I didn’t want to make it too sappy or lengthy as the same poem beat can get old fast enough

2. I was getting impatient to post it (one of my weaknesses ). I like this feeling.

The opening Greek phrase means: "Faith, hope, (and) love."
And the ending phrase means: "Everything flows, nothing stands still."

I don’t think I have anything else to say at the moment with regards to this. Please let me know what you think of all this; I will greatly appreciate any feedback.

Cheers to all of my NS1 and NS2 friends and everyone else too ,

~Nweb ^^

This post has been edited by Nweb: Nov 20 2008, 12:27 PM

Very nice. Definitely a common sentiment in many good stories, and I have read a few. It sounds like the saying is given much reverence. Things in the past may be out of sight, but never truly out of mind.





We must remember, for those who cannot.

When I saw the French thread I was expecting a poem in French or something. D: Oh well. The translation would be Quoi Que Je Donnerais btw.

Thanks much for reading and for your feedback. I'm glad you liked it and posted a thought-provoking response. Hmm .




Sorry. We aren't allowed to make entire threads in foreingh language and I can't begin to imagine how far I would have gotten with that crappy web translator .

Speaking of crappy web translators, it says that your version means: "Although I Would Give". Is it (the translator) not accurate here? I feel more inclined to trust you than it though .

Thanks much for stopping by .

I really can't say I look back with such fond feelings, but obviously you enjoyed oldsider or you wouldn't have invested so much time in it. I didn't know you wrote poetry, though. But all things considered I should have been able to guess.

I'd offer some constructive criticism but honestly poetry is not my forte so I'm sure there will be others more willing to help than me.

Huzzah!

...And then from here, I'm not entirely sure what else to say. Read the poem. I wouldn't say it was my favorite piece in the world or anything, but it certainly wasn't a painful experience, either, as I really liked parts of it. Specifically, while you were building NSider up to be this Utopian society:

"From peasants flying by on wings,
To nobles working in the field,
There was a place for one and all,
All could be one and not concealed."

That was nice. The first two lines beautifully convey this sense of equality and freedom that (I think) you were looking for, while also relating to this obvious medieval thing you had going on. The latter two lines is a sort of wordplay, reminiscent of "all for one and one for all," or something. Maybe not original, but it still fit in well and makes perfect sense. Moreover, the even-numbered lines rhyme, and all of them have eight syllables. It's great poetry.

...Oh, and I liked the lines of Greek, too. They really represent where you begin and where you leave off very well, but at the same time, by putting those lines into a separate language, you successfully divorce them from the poem itself. I thought it was cool.

I just wish the entire poem was like that. ...I guess it's not all that far off. The rhyming is consistent, anyway, and I saw what seemed to be an attempt to have the syllables add up consistently, too...just got lazy a few times. ...Either that, or you just tried to write lines that seemed to be of just about the same length, which works just as well. I guess some of the lines just seemed a little simple, and most of them didn't really jump out at me like the ones above did...and that's what poetry really is intended to do, at least by my standards. The fact that the subject matter was NSider didn't agree with me all that well, either, but, y'know...whatever works.

In any event, I'm not any kind of seasoned poet, but it's something I've delved into a few times, and it's by no means as easy as it looks. Some of this is really good, and it could be even better with a little more polish, as you said yourself. It's definitely just as good (if not better) than anything poetic I've thrown together, anyway.

So, right. Good work.

I took 4 years of French. "Quoique" does indeed mean "though" or "although." The correct translation is "Ce que je donnerais."

And I feel the same way as Hephastus, basically. I can churn out an anthology of epic haikus, but this is longer and more complex than most poetry I've written.

Nsider was kind of rough on you or perhaps the other way around so I can see where you are coming from. Yes, I enjoyed the place a lot, a lot . Wait, are you telling me you forgot that awesome poem I wrote for ya'll back on Nsider? Don't make me dig up the link as I do have it posted around here... somewhere .

No worries. Thanks a lot for taking the time to read ^_^.




You people, french experts, are killing me . It seems that everywhere I looked and heard so far is at contrast with the thing before it. Seems as if it would be easier if I just learned French myself. Joking . I changed it. At least, that gives everyone a turn. Thanks for the advice ^_^.

What's a haikus?

And thanks for stopping by to read .

This post has been edited by Nweb: Nov 20 2008, 08:15 PM

Huzzah!

Huzzah x2!! Sorry for the timing. Honestly, it was coincidental. Over the past few days I was in the mood to write up a rough outline of some story that I may or may not ever write, the forums crashed, out of idleness I went into my Nsider archive and then saw the document of this poem. It all went from there. Funny how things flow from one to another =P.


...And then from here, I'm not entirely sure what else to say. Read the poem. I wouldn't say it was my favorite piece in the world or anything, but it certainly wasn't a painful experience, either, as I really liked parts of it. Specifically, while you were building NSider up to be this Utopian society:

Haha, no worries. Everyone has different tastes. It was a fun experience and it definitely beats out the last poem I wrote (well, in some ways, anyway) so I'm happy =).

"From peasants flying by on wings,
To nobles working in the field,
There was a place for one and all,
All could be one and not concealed."

That was nice. The first two lines beautifully convey this sense of equality and freedom that (I think) you were looking for, while also relating to this obvious medieval thing you had going on. The latter two lines is a sort of wordplay, reminiscent of "all for one and one for all," or something. Maybe not original, but it still fit in well and makes perfect sense. Moreover, the even-numbered lines rhyme, and all of them have eight syllables. It's great poetry.

Ah, that's the word I was looking for: utopian. Yes, it sort of was the point to illustrate how everyone mingled with one another regardeless of rank etc. For the most part at least . Glad to see that you liked this stanza.

I am a huge sucker for medieval themes but that wasn't the inspiration for the setting here. Upon his death-bed (well, upon leaving Nsider to attend to important, new family matters, at least ) Link_Master80 wrote a fic about the same board and a lot of the members there. Among other things, he equated the board to a castle in some context. Others have done the same to greater or smaller extents and it sort of became 'popular culture' among the frequent members there. I suppose that the medieval setting here was paying tribute to them all. . I'm pretty sure that you were around then to know what I'm talking about now .

...Oh, and I liked the lines of Greek, too. They really represent where you begin and where you leave off very well, but at the same time, by putting those lines into a separate language, you successfully divorce them from the poem itself. I thought it was cool.

The meanings are nice and all but in reality it was the point of using Greek that alone made me want to do it. I mean, greek is like zo'my'gosh awesome D:. Joking. Good to see you liked it too. For some reason you always strike me as someone who is very well aquainted with everything related to ancient civilizations. Maybe it's your avatar.

I just wish the entire poem was like that. ...I guess it's not all that far off. The rhyming is consistent, anyway, and I saw what seemed to be an attempt to have the syllables add up consistently, too...just got lazy a few times. ...Either that, or you just tried to write lines that seemed to be of just about the same length, which works just as well. I guess some of the lines just seemed a little simple, and most of them didn't really jump out at me like the ones above did...and that's what poetry really is intended to do, at least by my standards. The fact that the subject matter was NSider didn't agree with me all that well, either, but, y'know...whatever works.

I'm not all that good at identifying syllables. To be more precise, I totally suck at it . You're right; for the most part, I just tried to make the lines be of more or less the same visual length ^^". To be totally fair, I tried counting syllables a few times but that didn't get me very far. So it was the same length thing and reading out loud a dozen or so times to see where it sounded awkward or acceptable. To make it sound better, certain odd punctuation should be used but it's pretty impossible to convey that through punctuation marks alone, as far as I'm concerned. Anyways .

In any event, I'm not any kind of seasoned poet, but it's something I've delved into a few times, and it's by no means as easy as it looks. Some of this is really good, and it could be even better with a little more polish, as you said yourself. It's definitely just as good (if not better) than anything poetic I've thrown together, anyway.

So, right. Good work.

Thanks a lot for taking the time to read it and to post your trademarked analyzing and entertaining feedback ^-^.